Saturday, September 16, 2006

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

For the first time ever, my brother and I opened the window of communication. It's not that we don't talk to each other... we do... but we also know that we don't communicate.

Our communication has always been limited to 'You're alright?', 'Yup', 'Fine', 'Cool', 'Leave me alone', 'Where's mom?', 'Out'.... well you get the picture. It was to the minimum.

I don't know why but we just don't really talk to each other. We've always kept things to ourselves... but that does not mean that I don't wish that we were closer.

When we were kids, of course we do our kids stuff... annoying the hell out of each other.

Then, he went to Malay College when I was nine... and then Indonesia, cause our father wants him to take up medicine... and then to the USA. And when he came back to Malaysia, I was away in the UK and stayed.

And even in the nine years when we were living in the same house, I can't remember us being close. I mean we do play together and mostly annoy each other... but all I remember is father wanting us to study... wanting him to study.

When he went away to boarding school, and came back for school holidays, all I remember is him studying...

He did come and visit me in the UK. But he did his stuff and I did mine.

I can't remember when was the last time we really spoke... if we ever spoke.

So, when I received an e-mail from him yesterday, I was so touched and I had a tear in my eye.

We love each other but we just don't know how to say it or show it to each other. We weren't brought up that way. Apart from wrestling each other when we were kids... I don't think we ever hugged. A firm handshake is the only body contact we have of late.

He's going to be a dad soon... and I know that he'll make an awesome dad. And he knows that I will spoil the kid to pieces.

To my brother... I know that we won't be close in an instant... but I hope that we will make baby steps towards it. And everytime I tell people about you, as I've always been, I talk about you with pride.

And I will always be here for you. You might be bigger than me but I'm not scared of you! You're my brother and I love you loads!

5 Comments:

Blogger The Peong said...

My sister and I used to war with each other until the first time I showed her that her little bother wasn't that little any more. Since then we have been very close, but it is hard since she moved to Oz. We will still call each other for support at all hours of the day despite the time difference (which I'm sure you can relate to), and despite the fact that we have only seen each other once in the last 6 years we stay as close as we can. I'm glad for you that you are making steps in tightening your relationship with your brother. You only get one family.

9/16/2006 07:12:00 pm  
Blogger yati said...

yes... it took me a while to appreciate my brother, as it's really hard when sometimes he still treats me like i'm 10 and he's 13... but he's the only brother i've got! and i'm lucky for that!

9/17/2006 07:24:00 pm  
Blogger aycookie said...

abang mmg bes.blanje slalu!

9/18/2006 02:25:00 pm  
Anonymous S_D said...

brothers are fun...who better to blame for your f ups round the house when ur young

9/19/2006 12:08:00 pm  
Anonymous lyndt said...

ha, ingat tak masa aku, ain semua first nampak your bro kat rumah..terkujat coz' tak tau pun ko ada brother..baik le kejap, kalau tak mau pening kepala mak ko dgr kita bercerita..hahaha

9/27/2006 03:52:00 am  

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