Tuesday, August 15, 2006

I Have A Plan

Last night, I had a chat with Jules about what's been playing in my head for months. This time I am more determined.

He asked me to think it through. He wants me to be sure that I've thought of every possibility and that I won't get stuck in the middle of it as he does not want me to regret things.

As I said, last night I was really determined. I was tired of being ill all the time and I want a change. I want to get better again. I want to be in a situation that I know what I'm doing and am able to focus on what I am should do.

So, yes, I have a plan. Now, I have to list things out and make it real.

I woke up this morning... still ill... feeling scared. Will I be doing the right thing? Maybe it's not that bad... Maybe I'm just exaggerating... What if I'm not ready for the big bad world??!!

No!

I've been dwelling about this for months! Almost half a year actually! It's time for action.

I'll never know if I'm doing the right thing or not if I don't do it in the first place. I wouldn't know if anything is better if I don't try it. No, I'm not exaggerating if it's been affecting me for this long. And the world is not all bad... I've got people who care about me and be by my side and support me in my difficult times as I am lucky that way if not in others.

So, I will put my plan in place. Today... after seeing the doctor, I will sit down and list things down.

I have to be strong as I need to do this for myself... please let me be strong...

6 Comments:

Anonymous ayu said...

i think,maybe,its the best for you

8/15/2006 11:03:00 am  
Anonymous Nina said...

So...here's to the execution of the plan!

remember, nothing good comes easy so you must plod on with plan even if there'll be hurdles!

I believe in you and now it is time, you believe in yourself.

8/15/2006 11:04:00 am  
Blogger Rrramone said...

I have no idea what the plan is about, but regardless, HUG.

8/15/2006 09:28:00 pm  
Blogger yati said...

reply to ayu:
i think so too...

reply to nina:
alamak! tok guru has put her belief in me! i will do my best... for myself...

reply to rrramone:
the plan is slowly going in motion *wink* and the HUG helped a lot!

8/16/2006 06:30:00 am  
Anonymous Nina said...

Eh apa ni. I am not tok guru lah and er please stop it with that!...I have always believed in you lah. It is old story.

8/16/2006 08:28:00 am  
Blogger yati said...

alamak! tok guru marah!! ala nina... main-main ajelah.

i know it's the right decision but i'm feeling a bit scared that i'm inventing doubts in my head! but... i'm staying strong!

8/16/2006 10:43:00 am  

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